The Queen and The Coconuts

The big day of the Bloggers.SG conference. Out of curiosity, I decided to drop by, to see for myself some of these new celebrities made famous (or infamous) by the internet. 看看你们的庐山真面目. Is the Blog Queen really that short? Is Mr Brown really that "Uncle"-looking and is his running-slimming working yet? Does Kenny Sia really have coconuts-sized, umm, assets?

Firstly, the venue - DXO. Holding a conference in a Club, tsk tsk, what a novel idea. New business venture for Mohammad Sultan area leh... Their slogan can even be: "Talk first, Party later!"

The conference was already in session when I reached. 2 people on stage were easily recognisable - Mr Brown and Mr Miyagi, and two other folks which I presumed were some other heavyweight Bloggers whom I still yet to know.

Although this was a gathering of the vocal voices of the Sg virtual world in life, somehow, the atmosphere doesn't appear too lively leh... I expected the ground to be abuzz with lively and colorful exchanges, thought-provoking and mind-enlightening speeches intermix with humor, wit, sarcasm and profanity.

Oh wait, yeah, that's only the real virtual world these buggers bloggers live blog in mah.

In the real world, everyone was so well-behaved, so quiet, so cordial, so... ermm, nice.

Maybe it was still early, folks need to warm up. But somehow the feeling of reserved-ness was heavy in the air. A lot of camera flashes, video cams hovering up and down; I might have thought this was a fan club gathering of some boy-band pop-singer group, but the missing hysterical screams of early-adolescent girls reminded me it was not.

I looked around trying to identify any known Bloggers. And I saw them.

我看到他们了! 下雪and Kenny Sia!

Damn this low lighting, cannot see clearly if Xiaxue really got make-up so thick that can stop an Armburst round. Also not close enough to hear her speak. Wonder if she sound like Ah-Lians with an A-me-li-can slang? Or she speaks with the cool demeanor like Diana Ser?

And that chubby guy beside her, so easy to recognise - Mr Sia, didn't see your coco-nuts leh... Anyway, so nice of the organisers to fly you in and you really give them all the face man... You must the only guy today to wear like you going ROM - long sleeve and tie leh!!! I supposed you want to look presentable, but really, I thought you got wedding dinner to attend later tonight.

Anyway, the session was not getting any livelier by the minute. Even Kenny's moment was rather low key. But hey, these are bloggers, not stand-up comedians. If I wanted entertainment, I am in the wrong shell, the Durians are next door.

But I was really getting bored. Some kid was blabbering about his experiences since the era of homepages, in the years of 1-9-yawn-9-7. I wasn't getting much of his words, partly because my mind went off-line, partly because the dude was covering the microphone with his hand while speaking. I didn't even noticed he finished but when I heard Mr Brown declared a 45-min break, I was out of the door.

I missed the session on Blogging and the law. Oops, I hope I don't break any in the future.

Oh btw, Xiaxue was really as short as she claimed.